I've Left

In a world like this what can you expect

But to wait out your days 'till there's nothing left.

Unsure of what's coming, only know of whats gone

And expecting your day to go horribly wrong.

The pain you have suffered, never to leave

The tears you have cried are staining your sleeve.

The fears you have now, of what to come next

And the secrets you wish to get off your chest.

In the world all alone, no one lived your life through,

All the problems you've had, all the things that you knew.

What did you do wrong, to deserve all of this

But being happy is the thing that I miss.

In a world like this what can you expect

But to wait out your days 'till I have left.



A Thing Of Fright

Where are you?

I know you're out there, waiting until I'm most vulnerable. Most fragile and weak. You wait in the shadows for me, waiting and waiting. Waiting along with my fears.

Who are you?

Where did you come from? What is your name? What do you want from me? What harm have I caused you? Who is now causing my fears?

What are you?

Are you a person seeking guidance? Are you a monster wanting to hurt me? You're probably some creature who's after me. A being consisted of fears.

What did I do?

Did I upset or hurt you? Or are you just poking fun? Because this isn't fun. It's not fun to have fears. 

What am I to do but wait along with you and sit in the dark with all of my fears.

Stop Taunting Me

Watch as we suffer, Watch us all plead,
Watch as we cry and fall to our knees.

Haunt all our thoughts, Hurt everyday,
Knowing this pain will never go away.

Slammed to the ground, Battered and bruised,
Seeing you is never good news.

Insults and rumours, All against me,
Same type of things every child will see.

I will be alone, Won't have any friends,
Because you are their leader, and you won't let it end.

You will ruin my life, memories will always hurt me,
Cuz your nothing but one big bully.

 

Oh Darling....

Darling sweet Darling, what's happened to you?

The tears that you shed are nothing new.

The pain in your heart, the fear in your eyes,

The sadness you feel when you hear your cries.

Darling dear Darling, the friends that you knew,

The one's that you wait for to give up on you.

The lies some have told, the kindness others brought,

Some won't care what would happen, other's would miss you a lot.

Darling my Darling, the life that you live,

The joy, the happiness, all that you try to give.

The things that you hide, the lies that you tell,

People still don't get that you're not well.

Darling poor Darling, don't say your goodbyes,

Please listen to reasons, don't listen to lies.

I know it seems hard, but please you'll go through,

But I guess your decision is all that you knew.



What Have We Done.

What world is this?

It's the home we've now destroyed.

It's the land we've hurt so bad.

It's the people we have killed.

It's the wars we have not ended.

It's the animals we've killed off.

It's the greed we all consume.

It's technology overwhelming us.

It's nature we've come to ignore.

It's people crying out.

It's mass killings.

It's the killing of ourselves.

It's the crying of our children.

It's the inequalities we have.

It's the pain we all indure.

It's the harm that'll never stop.

What is this hell?

The World's Lullaby

Here and There, Everywhere
The world is falling down.
Far away, Here to stay
Not a soothing sound.
Where's my lullaby?

Dad is mean, Words unclean
Saying without a care.
Sadness stays, Endless days
Life getting nowhere.
Still no lullaby.

Teachers talk, Students walk
I would sit alone.
Friends divide, Enemies collide
I don't deserve a throne.
I want a lullaby.

Guns are heard, A seldom word
Evil runs through their head.
People die, Children cry
Rebels leave them all for dead.
Will I get a lullaby?

Wars will rein, Nothing but pain
Sorrow isn't far.
Family and friends, Finding ends
Not a shining star.
Can I have a lullaby?

Heartless souls, Endless tolls
For husband, kid, or wife.
Dying land, Just so grand
Welcome, this is life.
I'll never get a lullaby.

So this is my goodbye.

Once Upon A Time....

Wouldn't it be nice if fairy tales were true? That every girl had a prince waiting for her, knowing that his sole purpose in life is to find his love and make her happy? That we all wore beautiful gowns once in a while and always lived happily ever after? That would be nice, but that's not how life works. If you want a real life story, it isn't exactly a fairytale. Especially not my story. But why not share my tale. A tale of a sad little princess.

Once Upon A Time, there was a cute little princess, maybe five or six, enjoying her years and going out with her comrades from time to time. But then, the king of her land went sour and bitter and began to hack away at her and her royal family. The poor princess then spent her days sitting in her tower with tears in her eyes. As she walked her kingdom, she began to get ignored by the common folk an started to feel abandoned. She instead after, found joy in the arts where her passions were used. But all wasn't truly well either. So she spent her next few years in rein there alone and unloved.

Soon, the princess left the rein of that place to her younger sister, and headed for a new area to rule. When she started her new rule, she began to obtain new comrades, and lost the old ones. But soon after, the royal family began to split apart. Her king and queen argued over the simplest matters and her sister began to get angered and took her fury out on the princess. Soon, the queen was not pleased with the standards the princess received with her rule and began to get angered by her. Though when things began to almost drop for the princess, a few simple commoners came in and assisted the princess, especially since a new princess was fighting against her. The two spent in battle, the newcomer fighting back while the other princess aimed for reasoning until a friend of the princess was hurt. Soon after the battle ended, neither truly successful.

As the years progressed, the life of the princess began to damage and break. A friend had come along and helped assist the princess, but in the end, she turned out a witch an left the princess hurt and even more broken. The princess' passion became a problem since the folks there were pushing her away. Leaving her to be ruling alone. Though a few commoners stayed by her, believing in their princess, but she felt that the way she was ruling wasn't very helpful and was hurting them. Things began to dwindle down and for the princess all seemed lost.

Surprised I stopped? Thought there'd be more? Sadly, there isn't. This story has no end yet. But will there be a happy ending for her? Will there be a prince coming to save her? Will she finally find the joy she's looking for? I don't know. This ending could either take forever, or it shall end soon. But if it ends soon, it would end like a nursery rhyme, not a fairytale. And we know they're two different things for nursery ryhmes aren't exactly happy endings. And there will be ashes, ashes, all falling down.

Flip A Coin

Have you ever been called two faced? Like you have two completely different personalities?

It's a common phrase that everyone uses at some point. It can depend on how you take the comment though. Everyone has their sides of different personalities. Everyone is nice and mean from time to time. But that is different from the two faced I think of.

Sometimes it feels like there are two people inside me. There's one person who believes that in life, some good things are there waiting for me to find them. While the other, expects the worst when I wake up in the morning and has begun to plan my demise. Each part of me fights for control over me, well t feels like anyway. Each wants to run my thoughts and actions, based upon their beliefs and perspectives on life.

The nice side of me is a happy, cheerful girl, one who can't wait to get up in the morning and seize the day. She looks for something great to find in any situation and wants to enjoy each day and live long and strong. Each happy thing stands out and has the expectancy of something exciting and fun waiting there for her.

The meaner, sadder side of me is an upset, depressed psycho path who waits for the worst to happen everyday. Waits and expects for something bad to happen and brings into question some unfortunate things that any normal person shouldn't think of. Also, slowly planning certain things to make sure that if the worst should happen in any case, that she will be ready to go.

These two people are hard to get along with. But it' weird since they're both me. But on thought triumphs another to he point where I'm confused on what to think. It feels like two people are fighting in my head. But what can I do? I don't know whose right or who has the right perspective. I don't know if tomorrow will be happy or sad. What am I supposed to do? Who do I let control me? Who knows what's best for me and my future? Who do I choose?

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At this point I'm not sure. I wish I could switch them off or find a way to make it stop. For now, I'm just me I guess. But I do know that one person inside fights stronger then the other. And she ain't one who's ready to deal with losing.

Hope Waiting To Die

What to do, What to think
Happy now, or wait to sink

Sun comes up, here I go
What will happen, I don't know

Listen to others, or completely ignore
Supposed to learn, but it's a bore

Food all packed for me to eat
But I won't have it, no matter how sweet

My friends try, but help won't work
I'm unstable, I'm all quirk

I see their sadness, brought by me
I'm not worth the time, can't they see

Wait to go home, don't like it there
For pain then follows me everywhere

While family fights, alone I sit
For my dad will put up a fit

The moon comes up, no shinning star
It's gone for now, way too far

I shall not sleep, for it's haunting time
 Nightmares crawl, quite unkind

Another day will soon fly by
Will I want to ever try

So this where things get really tough
With all this sad, hard depression stuff

Should I stay, should I go
Will the pain leave, or stay filled with woe

With bleeding scars and desperate cries
I am hope waiting to die

What Flows Through The Air

Have you ever thought about what is one of the most important and influential things in your life? I know that our friends and family are extremely important and that goes for school too. But there is one thing that I know that if we didn't have, there isn't a chance that the life we have around us right now would be like it is. That is music.

This thought has come up quite a bit being involved in a majority of the arts as it is, but tonight I was reminded again on how our friends and the singers themselves are affected by music. I watched one of my best friends play bass at a rock concert for school and not only did I end up getting up and cheering for her, but for nearly ever person up there. Seeing the group of people clinging to the stage as if it were a real concert, cheering and reaching for hands for the singers, who they'd likely see tomorrow, and I watched the singers and bands having fun together, not just playing or singing, but feeling the music coarse throughout the stage and out to the audience. That is what music is about.

And this is when you think about it. What is music? How do you define it? How does anyone define it? You know what it is, but when it comes to putting words together, they won't fit to describe this one glorious thing in our world. There's too much to say. And no matter where you go it's there. It's what you listen to while doing work in class. It's your happy days and your sad days. It's your voice. Your expression. Your language. It's what you dance to alone in your bedroom. It's what you sing to in the car. It's why you have arts and why some stars don't have to act. It connects the world in a special way. It's one key that unlocks our door to life.

So, what would happen if we didn't have it? Think hard about it. If there was no music, there'd be no instruments. Every singer you ever knew would have a normal job. YouTube would be just stupid videos. The radio would have never been invented. Steve Jobs would have never made the iPod. Every famous composer would be unknown. There would be no musical theatre. No dances. TV shows would have no theme songs. Any episodes with music wouldn't exist. Movies, Broadway shows and television would have no back round music. You would never learn to sing. There would be no concerts, no singalong songs for kids, no bands, NO ONE DIRECTION. (I actually don't really like them too much.) Our foundation of sound would be downgraded to virtually nothing.

So, when you have your iPod on or you're on YouTube or you're watching a movie, think of how that music influences you. How this helps you. Also, how lucky you are. To live in a world with this sweet melody sweeping through the air. I am a dancer, a singer, an actress, (not a real one but you get it), a musician, I own an instrument (my tenor saxophone Jasmine) and an artist so music is crucial to me, but that's just me. It's all up to you. So the next time you listen to anything or need to think about something that you should be thankful for, be thankful for music. It helps us all and is the one thing that every person in the world, has in common interest.



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I'm Still Scared of the Dark

Everyone grows up with fears. For some, it's spiders and snakes;others it's clowns and dentisits. It can be things like blood or heights or school; bullies, horror movies, ghosts, scary noises. No one is completly fearless, but not all fears are the same to others. For some people, they fear for their homes, some for their families, some for their lives. And even though they have the same normal fears as others, they still have to sleep with the door closed, so they know when someone else is in the room.

 

I don't like nightmares. They're constant reminders of my fears. Like when I wake up after the thought of spiders crawling up my body or someone set to get me. It's not fun, when you realise that some of those nightmares could be real. Those nightmares are the ones about my friends or my dad. I'm scared that one day my friends will choose to abandon me. Leave me be and never bother with me again; and it will probly happen because it already has once. And as for my dad, well he's an ass so who knows what he'll do next to hurt me and my family.

http://www.layoutsparks.com/pictures/darkness-0

It's hard not to wonder what I'd be like to not be afraid. I always am. But it has to be normal, right? It's not like it's something new. I used to be a scared little five year old girl so this is normal, right? I may be in highschool but i can be afraid, right? Or maybe it's not. Most people only are afraid of little things and made up things. I'm scared of the day I'll have to face. So, maybe I should try not to be scared. Try not to let those nightmares take control of me. Not to be afraid of daily life.

But it's hard to be brave, when you're afraid of tomorrow.

See You Soon

A calm little bird flies high in the sky,

No one looks as he flies by.

He gives out a small cry, so someone may see,

But no one wants to but me.

The things this wondrous creature goes through,

Each day I wave, everyday it feels new.

He is found to be frightening, a symbol so grim,

And no one is ever kind to him.

No one will wave, or watch this sad bird,

For fear of the robed man's cursing dead words.

  This, his messenger bird, his beaken so black,

Everyday he waits for his raven to come back.

A poor foul thing, it isn't his fault,

It's the man in black, it's what he'll soon want.

One day he will come, to take someones soul,

A terrible curse, a deadly toll.

So this poor creature flies, trying to find a friend,

Before the Grim Reaper takes another again.

But I wait for the bird, everyday, every night,

Not afraid of this most unheavenly sight.

So I wave goodbye, hear a soft wing beat swoon,

Calling out to my friend, I shall see you soon.

http://blackville.nbed.nb.ca/sites/blackville.nbed.nb.ca/files/raven.jpg